Side-effects affect him sometimes

 No idea why Geoff had an weird little turn on Christmas Eve. Must have been a side-effect. He was put on a new medication (for an enlarged prostate, nothing to do with cancer) and took the stuff, called Rantral, and he went white and dizzy, and came out in a cold sweat. He recovered after an hour or so, so I drove us to our Christmas Eve dinner, and he was fine.

Rather repeatedly, he falls

 Again, he's been so well, particularly because (?) I was away for three weeks. All my friends here say he was walking the dog every morning, always at the beach first thing, and having coffee with them. Then I got back on Friday 8th November, and now on Sunday (17th November 2024) he had to go and fall again. He can't remember going into the bathroom, or me helping him up (with my mother's trusty footstool). Oh well, when I got back from the appointment I had, he was fine, up and dressed. So I've done nothing about this latest fall.

Got a shock! (In a good way)

 Well, the other night I was trying to change the light bulb in the bathroom. I was standing on tiptoe on the top of our kitchen ladder, and just couldn't quite reach to push the bayonet fitting in properly. Geoff got impatient and said: "Let me do it," and started up the ladder after I got down. He actually managed, with just his left hand and looking up at the light. He got the bulb in easily and then put the light shade on as well (which I was going to leave for our cleaner gardener who comes on Fridays). I was amazed: and of course terrified that he would fall backwards. I stood behind him thinking he's going to squash me if he falls, but at least he'll have a soft landing!

CT scan was clear

 He has another scan booked for six months time. This one proved that he has no more cancer lurking anywhere. The radiation is what weakened his bones on the right hand side of his body.

... but it's not all doom and gloom.

 This cancer journey has been a strange one, and very long. I've often felt like a colt - lunging and fighting at the harness slipped onto me, the harness of all the daily chores and duties I have to take control of, but I've finally been gentled into it. I realised that, as I was taking leaves out of the pool this morning. I manage the pool adequately (it always used to be Geoff's job), I do a lot of the driving and all the taking care of the car - licences, petrol, air in the tyres and so forth, and of course as usual all the cooking, mending, cleaning, buying groceries and washing I've always done. (Thank goodness for my Malawian helper Chadson: he gardens a bit and cleans the house a lot every Friday) I've been thinking how lovely our quiet days are, on the whole. Geoff and I are getting old together very comfortably indeed. We cheer each other with silly jokes. I feel warmly towards him. He can do quite a few things now: he can make a fire, he can make coffee. What he can't do is look up too much or get up off the floor, so he can't stoop down too low. He must never overbalance.  This is how he bashed his eye while falling on Tuesday. He was concussed for a while.

Bugger

 So damn and bugger, Geoff fell again this morning. We are both trying to work out why. He's been so well this past month. He woke up, came to through to my room to talk to me, and fell at the threshold. Luckily he was wearing a thick knitted beanie and his head hit the rug not the floor, but still, he has a huge bump above his eye and I think it's going to get more colourful as the day goes on. He can't remember falling, or that I got him up onto his feet and then he collapsed again and I couldn't hold him up so down onto the floor he went again. I phoned my friend and tenant, Charles (this was at quarter to seven in the morning) and he came through and managed to lift him and we manoevred him onto the bed. After resting for about an hour and after I'd made him coffee and breakfast, he got up, had a wee by himself, and then got dressed as normal. So there we go. Haven't done anything about it as he seems fine now.

Bump cap

 So Geoff is home and well and driving again. One thing that is driving me silently crazy, is thinking what would happen if he bumps his head, or falls and hurts it. So we ordered something called a bump cap. It looks like an ordinary cap (think those baseball caps they have in America) but is lined with a hard plastic that stands proud of his actual head. So that soft tissue which is what is protecting his brain at the top instead of a fake skull is now protected in turn with a cap. He is also always working with a crutch, more to warn people that he is slow and frail rather than that it is a material help.

Procedure completed Sunday morning

WhatsApp message from Dr Landau, Sunday morning:  Hi Hazel we all done, went well. No dural leak, infected cranioplasty plate which we removed and closed up again. He should be fine now . Going to high care.

I thanked him, when the anaesthetist phoned I asked her if they'd replaced the plate and she said no, the muscle should be enough. So there we are. Here is a photo of him in ICU. I told him to smile for the camera, and he insists he IS smiling!

 

... and now it seems he has to have another procedure.

 It was not pus streaming out of his head, but brain fluid. Apparently one of the clips holding his fake bone in place worked loose, and should be put back soon. So on Sunday it will be an operation at Kingsbury Hospital.

Geoff was looking so well ...

 ... and now he is back in hospital. He was just getting back from the shops, when his head started streaming pus. It was pouring out like a tap. There was a small hole on the side of his scar, and that was what it was leaking from: no injury, it just seemed to split open. So he has had a scan and his doctor will decide what to do tomorrow. Geoff says he does not intend having another operation.

Ja well no fine

 I was supposed to go for a biopsy on Monday (for myself, not for Geoff) but I thought about it. Look at what treatment has done for my husband. He's basically a wreck. So you can call him a survivor if you like, but I honestly don't think it's good enough, to be able to sit around and eat soup and soft stuff while not being able or willing to swim or walk or fly or run. So what's the point in knowing one way or the other.

A terrible few days

 It's really been hard, what with Geoff having had his upper arm pinned in hospital, so only one-armed, and then getting a violent case of diarrhoea for five whole days. Thank goodness for the children, they stepped in to help make/buy soup and help clean him up. I feel quite exhausted, helping Geoff get to the loo, getting hold of a raised toilet seat because in any case the normal one broke and washing him while he sits on a chair in the bathroom. This cancer time has felt really really long. Since 2011until now is beginning to wear me down a lot.

Back to hospital

So, on Tuesday Geoff fell against the back of the door - we think he got up too quickly and fainted - anyway, it was very sore and he went white. I thought maybe he'd dislocated his clavicle pin and so took him to emergency. They x-rayed him and said unfortunately the proximal humerus was broken. They sent him home with a sling, but his orthopaedic surgeon said it certainly won't heal, he will have to have a pin put in. It's obvious that the bone has shifted quite a lot already (he had another x-ray taken this morning). So he'll be nil by mouth from midnight, in tomorrow and hopefully back home again on Wednesday. 

... but then he had to go fall again today (24th March)

 He actually stumbled, and sort of fell right in front of me. He seemed fine at first, but then his eyes turned up and he couldn't hear me for about 30 seconds I'd say (probably less, but it felt very long). Luckily Charles was home and could get him onto his feet.

I'm starting to feel optimistic ...

 The last fall Geoff had was the 14th December last year. He is driving again, making coffee again, joking more. One thing, he has a terrible rash: he is constantly scratching and hasn't found any cream or ointment that helps.