One step forward one step back

 Geoff made porridge for breakfast yesterday and seemed quite sprightly. So last night just when I was starting to relax - Geoff went to the loo three times that I heard and it was all fine and dandy - I heard his cupboard close quite hard. I listened for a bit, wondering what he was getting out of the cupboard - but nothing. So I went through to have a look. (We've been sleeping in separate rooms for a while now.) There he was on the floor. When I spoke to him he replied a bit incoherently (of course my mind sprang to a stroke straight away!) but after a bit and me giving a bit of a helping hand he sat up. He said he thought he must have fallen out of bed, and managed to stand up. On thinking it over, though, he thought maybe he fainted " ... because why would I have fallen out of bed? I never have." So I've been mulling over what he had to eat yesterday - probably too little protein? Porridge instead of the eggs I've been making him every morning? And I must buy some more Ensure.  

Zanzibar!

 Well, Geoff is slowly getting better and I have something huge to look forward to. My children Jeremy and Bettina have asked me along on a trip to Zanzibar! This is going to take place at the end of September. I will make all Geoff's meals and put them in the freezer (nearer the time of course) and am making enquiries about a carer for during this time. He doesn't want a carer of course, but. 

For example, today I particularly did not wake him up when I got back from the beach and he slept until eleven thirty am. He then made us both coffee, which was very nice. But again, what did he grab for himself for breakfast? Yoghurt. And I have been told he must have five small meals of protein (Sister Anne says things like chicken broth or any kind of soup with meat in it: he must eat the equivalent of three pieces of meat the size of my palm every day to keep his strength up). So I don't think yoghurt and ice-cream will cut it!  As for the long-awaited operation, no news yet. We are still experiencing a third wave of covid. And he is still having to carry that little machine with him wherever he goes. We walked the 600 metres to my son Michael's house last night so that he could watch the rugby. It's the first outing he has had since coming home. Michael brought him home (Springboks 17, Lions 22). It was a pleasure having the house to myself for the first time in weeks! 

Strengthening

 So good to see my husband getting stronger and stronger. He walked around two blocks yesterday and although he's fretting at having to carry the vacuum pack machine around with him he is coping extremely well. I'm proud of his progress!

Doctor visit

So today we went to see Dr Landau - who said he honestly does not want to risk putting Geoff in hospital where there are so many Covid patients at present (we are experiencing a third wave). He said were it a simple, straightforward operation that would only take a day he would go ahead, but he would rather wait for at least three weeks and hope that by then the wave will have subsided. We are both disappointed of course, but it does make sense. 

Confidence

 Confidence ... musing about confidence and how to boost someone else's. I drove the car to Park Island (roughly 2kms away) and Geoff said did I want him to fetch me. I said no, do you think you could drive? And he said: "No. No, I don't think so, because I've fainted without any warning. I'm just worried I'll faint."

 I didn't know what to say. I could have said, you're right, you could well faint. You'd better not drive anymore. That's what I wanted to say. But then I thought, Sister Anne said he fainted because he wasn't eating properly at the hospital. He's been eating well  now that he's back home, and even though he's felt a little wobbly every now and then he hasn't fainted again. On the other hand, I didn't want to say, of course you won't faint. So I just said nothing. But I was thinking about his confidence all the same. Yesterday he wanted to walk a little further than I would have liked. I was with him, and I got him to turn back after about 10 houses down the road. Later he walked to Windermere Road and back by himself. I particularly decided not to go with him, because I realised I actually sap his confidence by being next to him and having an opinion about how far he should walk. And I thought of Jeremy, and his letting Helen lean over to the fireman's pole and sliding down it, without him being within reach. He just said to her that he knew she could do it. Compared to me, wanting to put the walker in the car in case he needed it. I'm quite good at boosting Elspeth's confidence in her driving. I tell her she's a bloody good driver and not to worry. Why can't I do the same to Geoff? (I walked back from dropping the car at Park Island).