Wobbling along the cancer time-line
My bed is warm
I’m dreaming.
A cupboard door bangs.
“Are you alright?”
No sound.
I fight through the mosquito net
He’s on the floor
“Sorrysorrysorry”
I can’t pick him up
So we work with a chair
An elbow
A knee
An arm on the bed.
Eventually
Unsteadily
But at last
On his own two feet.
Husband
Sky, sea and sand scumble-tumble alongside one another
Coupling in monotone greys
Mist and drizzle puddle all edges
Black seaweed blots the beach
Untidy Rorschach blobs.
People, wavery, indistinct,
Move slowly along the shore.
A man, slower than the rest,
One who avoids treacherous sand
Raises his arm.
I wave back.
Geoff's orthopaedic surgeon (Dr Mulder) explained that the result of the MRI showed that there are no squamous cells on the clavicle. So now the only scan he still has to have is the PET scan on 31st July and, if that is clear of cancer, he will not have to have more radiation! So we are holding thumbs it will be clear. The reason he has to have a PET scan is because everyone has some squamous cells in their jaw, and the MRI he had for that did not show whether these were evil ones or just the ordinary ones. Meanwhile the MRI he had the other day was definitely clear. I hope my poor husband doesn't have to have radiation again! *I would still like to know why his collar bone just cracked, just like that?)
My poor, poor husband. I feel so sorry for him! He was looking okay. The lump on his neck seemed to be in hand, and we were hopeful it was NOT cancerous, and would just need a spot of radiation, when this happened! He was doing nothing - just reaching into his bathroom cupboard for something - when he heard a loud crack. He still drove to the beach to meet me and only mentioned this while we were having coffee. I said, well, when I broke my collar bone way back in 2014, that's how I knew it was broken. I heard a cracking sound. He said well it's not sore. I was still unconvinced. He has very little feeling in the right side of his body because of the radiation he had on his torso, neck and jaw on that side. Anyway after we got back from the beach he made an appointment to see his doctor so that he could go for x-rays but she could only see him in two days. As the day progressed he started feeling discomfort and also a bone was definitely out of place. So my daughter-in-law took him to the emergency room at Constantiaberg hospital to be x-rayed. (I was looking after grandchildren Tom, Scarlett and Gabriella at the time). Result: definitely broken. Now, nobody at the hospital said anything but of course if you think about it for a second: the bone of his skull got degraded and had to be replaced with a fake piece about the size of a (large) piece of toast. The surgeon at the time said ten years or so after radiation the bone starts degrading or dying. Remember he had 30 days of radiation about eight years ago so that must be just another side effect of it. This time on the thinnish clavicle. Maybe I'm just jumping to conclusions (the only exercise a limited mind gets). This is from the internet:
Osteoradionecrosis is bone death due to radiation. The bone dies because radiation damages its blood vessels.
Anyway, now he's looking like a little sparrow with a broken wing. Shame, man. He can hardly do anything. And of course I feel a great deal of empathy because I was wrecked by my collar bone being broken nine years ago! But luckily I broke mine in summer and the clothes etc I had to put on weren't nearly as difficult as poor Geoff's. I do remind him, though, of how unsympathetic he was: driving hard over bumps so that my shoulder got bumped when we were going to my birthday treat in the mountains! But I know how handicapped one feels.
I was celebrating that no new problems had arisen for nearly a year, (this was April) and then a strange lump appeared under his jawline. He had a cat scan which showed necrotic tissue. So he went for an MRI. His oncologist Dr Davids jocosely said he is a man of mystery. They can't tell if it's cancerous or not. The biopsy showed neither one thing or the other, apparently. Of course later I had to go surfing on the Internet and this is what I found and I am pretty sure this is what is happening. I am not brave enough to mention it to the oncologist! "Have you studied medicine!!!?" (Not that I've ever mentioned finding something on the Internet to a doctor, but I have heard how irritated - rightly I guess - they get!)
Osteoradionecrosis is a rare side effect that develops some time after radiation therapy has ended. It usually occurs in the lower jaw, or mandible. The lower jaw is at risk of osteoradionecrosis because it has a limited blood supply. Very rarely, osteoradionecrosis can start in the upper jaw, or maxilla.
So now on 31st July, he goes for a pet scan. Meanwhile ... well, that deserves a whole new post.
